it's a lovely life

Family Fun!

My in-laws were in town last weekend and we had such a fun visit with them. Of course, it helps that NYC had on her finest outfit (blue skies and mild weather). They have been to NYC so many times but we managed to do some things they had not yet done. For starters, we did a tour of the UN. Below is a picture of the Security Council chamber.

I highly recommend the UN tour to everyone. It was my second tour and I learned so many new things this time!

We took full advantage of the spring weather by spending time in Central Park, Prospect Park, Washington Square Park, Battery Park and Union Square Park.

We went to a Yankees game - a first for all of us! They played the Oakland A’s and won! We feasted on the requisite beer, peanuts and hot dogs at the Stadium.

Throughout the weekend we enjoyed lots of good food but a highlight was our visit to Fatty ‘Cue. My friend from Charlotte, Alicia, now works there and was very generous to us on our visit there. We enjoyed NUMEROUS cocktails and sampled many appetizers. Fatty ‘Cue sounds like a southern laid-back barbecue joint and we thought we’d catch the Kentucky Derby there. Turns out it is a Malaysian Smokehouse with a quieter (until we arrived), classy, TV-less vibe.

We also savored an early Mother’s Day brunch at Dinner on Ludlow in the Lower East Side.

“The DL” has great food in a luxe atmosphere with gorgeous chandeliers all over the ceiling on the main floor. The weekend was such a fun, fun time. Already looking forward to the next family visit!

 

Standing on Ceremony

Our ceremony was one of the aspects of our wedding that caused some discord during the planning process. I do consider myself to be traditional in most areas and our wedding had many traditional elements but also some modern twists. For example, we did a ‘first look’ which allowed us to see each other semi-privately before the wedding. It also allowed us time for photos before the wedding which was nice because the reception immediately followed. We also chose to write our own ceremony instead of using a traditional dialogue. 

Several folks on my side of the family have a very strong religious faith. We are not quite as religious. We do not have a minister and instead of having a stranger preside of the ceremony, my cousin Joey offered to get ordained. Joey and I grew up together. I’ve always considered us ‘close’ and I think of him as a brother. Having Joey get ordained did not sit well initially with some of my family. In fact, some reaction to the news that Joey would officiate the ceremony was enough to make me want to elope somewhere.

I am happy to say that with time people became more accepting of the idea and had nothing but nice things to say after the wedding. Joey really rose to the task and did a GREAT job. He was also there for me the night before the wedding while I edited my vows at the midnight hour. He was there for me the day of the wedding: holding my train, passing me his handkerchief when I started to cry and running other errands as needed. Joey was another person I cannot imagine the day happening without. He was the unofficial Man-of-Honor at our wedding. :)

We did write our own vows. We did not hear or see each other’s vows before the ceremony so that was a nice element of surprise. Clay makes his living as a writer so it seems like the task was easier for him than it was for me! I am so glad we chose to use a unique ceremony with personalized vows. It made our day extra special and true to who we are as a couple.

We were inspired by bits and pieces of other DIY ceremonies available online. Below is the text from our ceremony. I hope that this is useful to someone who is looking for something less traditional. I would encourage anyone in my predicament, to follow your heart. It’s YOUR day. 

Joey: Welcome, family, friends, and loved ones. We are gathered here today to witness one of life’s great milestones. Two families have come together to celebrate the creation of a new one, to make certain that Clay and Linda are surrounded by the people dearest to them as they take this first step into life-long commitment.

DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE

Joey: Marriage is a bold step into an unknown future. It is risking who we are for the sake of who we can be.

Each of us knows that a marriage is not created by a law or by a ceremony; rather it occurs in the hearts of two human beings. This ceremony is not magic, it will not create a relationship that does not already exist. But no one can claim these two have not already proven their commitment. For the past few years now, Clay and Linda have been inseparable, displaying a comfort with their shared intimacy. So, today, we are observing only an outward sign of an inward union that already exists between Clay and Linda, a symbol of how far they have come together and a promise that they will love each other above all others.

READING

Joey: At this time, Hillary Nicholas will now enchant us with a reading.

Hillary comes to the microphone and reads The Apache Wedding Prayer:

Hillary: Now you will feel no rain,

for each of you will be shelter for the other.

Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth for the other.

Now there is no more loneliness.

Now you are two persons,
but there is only one life before you.

May your days together be good and long
upon the earth.

DECLARATION OF INTENT

Joey: Do you, Clay, take Linda to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you love her, laugh with her, comfort her, honor and protect her, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

Clay: I do.

Joey: Do you, Linda, take Clay to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you love him, laugh with him, comfort him, honor and protect him, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

Linda: I do.

SUPPORT OF COMMUNITY

Joey:Everyone please rise.

Do you, who are present here today, promise to support Clay and Linda in their marriage, to be there for them during the bad times as well as the good, to never withhold your love or the joy of your companionship? If so, please respond with “we do”.

All: We do!

Joey: Thank you. You may be seated. If it takes a village to raise a child, it must take a multitude to nurture a marriage. And, rest assured, your blessings, presence, and encouragement are important to this union, not just for today, but for always.

EXCHANGE OF VOWS

Joey: The couple have chosen to write their own vows to one another. Clay, take it away.

Clay:

Linda:

EXCHANGE OF RINGS

Joey: You will exchange rings to serve as a reminder of the promises you have made. These wedding bands announce to the world that you have been found. When you look at them, remember all that you have in one another, remember that you do not walk through this life alone.

Clay, place this ring on Linda’s left hand and repeat after me.

Joey/Clay: With this ring, I thee wed. All of my heart’s affection, all that I am, all that I ever shall be and everything that is a part of me, I give to you now.

Joey: Linda, please place this ring on Clay’s left hand and repeat after me.

Joey/Linda: With this ring, I thee wed. All of my heart’s affection, all that I am, all that I ever shall be and everything that is a part of me, I give to you now.

PRESENTATION OF THE COUPLE/PRONOUNCEMENT

Joey: Look into each other’s eyes and contemplate the vows you’ve just spoken before friends and family. In the days and years to come, the person standing before you will be your joy and your pain, your refuge and your heartache, as you share all that is sweet and bitter in life.

BLESSING

Joey: At this time I invite Mr. Tom Lee up. Please join us in prayer.

Grandpa comes to the microphone and offers a prayer. Returns to his seat.

Joey: And, now the moment you’ve all been waiting for… As cousin, grateful friend, and officiant, by the power vested in me, it is my honor and privilege to pronounce you husband and wife.

Clay, you may kiss your bride.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Clay Nicholas!

All photography: A Photo By Ashley

Surprises for each other!

The morning of our wedding, as many couples do, we had surprises for each other. Clay’s sister, Hillary, delivered Clay’s surprise to me while I was having my makeup done. I’ve mentioned previously that we had a long engagement, a little over 2 years. I could never keep a secret that long. Clay, on the other hand, kept a secret that there was video footage of his proposal! I never knew!! It was such a HUGE surprise and so moving to see it again before walking down the aisle. It was such a special gift and one that I am so glad we have. One of our ushers, Cedrick, went to school in Atlanta with Clay and was secretly recording the proposal. Cedrick also set up a picnic under a tree nearby with champagne and fresh fruit. So many sweet elements of that day in June. It was so touching that Clay had put so much thought into everything. I waited five years for him to pop the question and wow … the wait was worth it.

You can watch the video here. I know most people think they have the sweetest spouse but Clay is pretty hard to top!!

I sent Hillary back downstairs with a card for Clay. At the end of his card, I wrote that his gift had not arrived yet. Clay LOVES cars. Antique cars. Flashy new cars. Dilapidated rusty cars. Toy cars. He doesn’t discriminate. During the wedding planning process, I told Clay that renting an antique ‘getaway’ car was not in our budget. He was disappointed but never thought about it after that. He assumed he was driving us to our nearby hotel after the wedding. BOY WAS HE SHOCKED when he saw this Excalibur waiting for him.

His reaction was PRICELESS. 

I was so tickled that we even had our very own red carpet! :) 

The driver was very kind and drove us all around downtown Raleigh. Strangers yelled ‘Congratulations!’ and at least one stranger took our picture (well, the car’s picture). We really felt like celebrities! It was such a fun, memorable part of the day! It was also a time for the two of us to bask in the events of the day. 

So many sweet memories.

All photography A Photo by Ashley

Excalibur rental from Classy Transportation